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The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting, by Alice Miller
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An examination of childhood trauma and its surreptitious, debilitating effects by one of the world's leading psychoanalysts.
Never before has world-renowned psychoanalyst Alice Miller examined so persuasively the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body. Using the experiences of her patients along with the biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence, and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness―be it cancer, stroke, or other debilitating diseases. Never one to shy away from controversy, Miller urges society as a whole to jettison its belief in the Fourth Commandment and not to extend forgiveness to parents whose tyrannical childrearing methods have resulted in unhappy, and often ruined, adult lives. In this empowering work, writes Rutgers professor Philip Greven, "readers will learn how to confront the overt and covert traumas of their own childhoods with the enlightened guidance of Alice Miller."- Sales Rank: #93132 in Books
- Brand: imusti
- Published on: 2006-08-17
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.30" h x .70" w x 5.50" l, .48 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 228 pages
- W W Norton Company
From Publishers Weekly
In her latest vehement treatise, Swiss psychoanalyst Miller (The Drama of the Gifted Child) reprises her classic critiques of filial duty. In her view, our culture systematically denies childhood abuse sufferers access to their true feelings. Repressed emotional responses to early humiliations and unfulfilled needs are inevitably transferred to the body, Miller believes, producing long-term illness. She also believes that the majority of therapists are bent on fostering an attitude of forgiveness. Miller instead urges the reader to reappraise the substance of the Fourth Commandment, which she construes as containing "a kind of moral blackmail" and, reflecting on her own unhappy childhood, argues that what survivors of parental cruelty need most is someone who shares their feelings of indignation. Miller traces the relationship between inadequate or tyrannical parenting and adult bodily illness, depression and suicide in pithy biographies of Dostoyevski, Chekhov, Kafka, Virginia Woolf, James Joyce and many others. Yet Miller is more a subjective observer and a guru than a social scientist. Her highly personal, undertheorized and generalizing approach will strike some as simplistic, yet those who loyally follow her child-centered philosophy will probably find much to enjoy in the conviction with which she writes. (May)
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Review
“Alice Miller’s arguments are lucid, closely reasoned, and utterly convincing.” (Elaine Kendall - Los Angeles Times Book Review)
About the Author
Alice Miller (1923-2010) is the author of such classic works as The Drama of the Gifted Child, Prisoners of Childhood, The Body Never Lies, From Rage to Courage, and Free from Lies.
Most helpful customer reviews
26 of 26 people found the following review helpful.
Life changing
By 5fireflies
In October 2013, I awoke with suicidal thoughts. I had been drinking 1 liter of vodka every day for several months. Something within me enabled me to take myself to the hospital, where I was admitted to the psychiatric unit. There, I detoxed from alcohol. I as transferred to a chemical dependency treatment center; I read The Body Never Lies and Free From Lies. Through reading both of these books, I as able to discover the root of my anxiety, depression, addiction, and, ultimately, suicidal ideation. Alice Miller's writing made me realize that I was not to blame. I was not a "bad seed," as I had been led to believe by my mother. Depression was my body's way of coming to my aid -- of insisting that the truth be heard and processed. Through journaling and many conversations with my peers in treatment, I was able finally to love and protect myself, as I had never been loved and protected before. The persons to whom I should have been able to turn for protection and empathy, I instead had to fear and mistrust. It is extremely freeing to finally attribute my self-destructive behavior, mental illnesses and addiction to abuse. Alice Miller's work changed my life, and I believe I would be dead were it not for reading these books. I have recently enrolled in college, and my goal is to earn my bachelor's in psychology, then master's, and eventually become a psychotherapist. Rest in peace, Alice. You had a miraculously positive impact on the world. I wish you were still here so that I could email you or talk to you. Love, Marc
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Interesting approach to an underappreciated issue
By Pam
I thought this was an interesting approach to exploring the impact of a parent's abuse on the child using examples of famous authors. However, I thought it was repetitious. It could have been half as long or less and conveyed the same points.
Also, I think that there were a number of conclusions drawn or at least suggested, that had no evidence to support.
Do I believe abuse by parents harms children? Absolutely. Do I believe that when a person denies the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parent it is more harmful than working through it and acknowledging it? Absolutely. In fact, I believe that too many adults allow their parents to continue to abuse them. I also believe that sometimes, adults need to completely cut ties with an abusive parent who is unable to stop behaving ways that harm them.
I appreciate Alice Miller for sharing this perspective, helping to raise awareness and letting readers know it is okay to acknowledge the harm their parents have inflicted.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Helpful Info.
By DC Customer
Having to go through a painful journey and books like this help, again. There is a reason why if it becomes necessary to go NO CONTACT one should stay in that mode. Whether it be with the abuser, or one of their "flying monkeys", they will only try to drag you back into their hurtful web of projection and using you as a decoy to not face their own life issues. I thought I had grown to a point this could no longer hurt me, but I swear narcs like to push every painful button they can, to feed on your emotional pain. Logically you may be able to get this, but it still hurts to be trashed, falsely labeled, wrongly accused, have anything and everything you say twisted and painful things (usually caused by them) that has ever happened to you repeatedly brought up. I did get very sick feeling, stomach problems, headaches, rashes, little sleep, etc. whist revisiting this drama. Thanks to books such as these, EFT, a ton of tears and resetting healthy boundaries , as well as listening/ viewing a bunch of YouTube videos the sun is peeking through again
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